Yeah, I just wish I knew what was causing it so I could stop doing it in order to fix it. :/ Congrats on the hand in though, go well?
Yeah I know that’s the worst thing isnt it? Gonna put a lush facemask on tomorrow :) see if that calms it a bit. Hand in went better than previous ones, only thing I’m not happy with was some of the stitching quality as picked really horrible fabrics to work with :/. Didn’t sleep last night tho as was finishing stuff off. Had 3 hora sleep this afternoon and then woke up and now can’t be bothered to move back to my bed. How are you? xx
… than standing outside at 6am listening to the birds singing, when one side of the sky is navy and the other pale blue; and your breath forms a big cloud infront of you. Of course I haven’t actually been to sleep tonight, done an all-nighter ready for the hand in today. gonna get home and sleeeeeeep after uni today.
Haven’t been on my bike in 3 weeks :(. Feel the need to go out; also feeling the effects. I feel like crap recently in my body and health. I just don’t have a good enough routine to prepare my food in advance and so I end up buying crap from uni; we also found a beaut deli place, that does awesome sandwiches and wraps and stuff, on friday, so that won’t help. Need to find my self control…
I think about that first night and how we stayed in the living room chatting till half 5 in the morning. How quick it went, how normal and comfortable it felt, how I never wanted it to stop. I just wanted to stay in that living room in the middle of the night talking about everything and cuddling for the rest of time. I had no idea how things might pan out between us or how things might change so fast and so violently. It scares me. I just want to cry when I think of that night now. Not because I would take it back but because we aren’t like that now.
I just want to be with someone I trust; in the dark. To fall to my knees in front of them, to collapse into them and not worry what they may think or if they will leave me. To feel their arms tight around me, holding me, cradling me, knowing that I am safe from the world. I want to break down, let it all out, scream and shout and cry and tell them everything and not hold anything back. I feel so trapped at this very moment I just need them here.
Reasons for aching:
• great big hole in one of my teeth.
• sore ankle from where my docs have been rubbing.
• killing right shoulder from carrying a ridiculous amount of stuff to uni everyday.
• right forearm - carrying heavy bags of fabric round London all afternoon yesterday.
• eyes and head - general tiredness.